Sarafina Nlandu – A Picture Worth A Thousand Moments

Claudia Henock 0:04
Hi everyone, welcome to Your Most Precious Thing, the show that talks about the stories behind the items we hold near and dear to our hearts. I am your host, Claudia Henock, and let’s meet our guest for this week.

Claudia Henock 0:19
Just as a heads up before we continue, this episode does feature a conversation around pet death or animal death. So if that is considered a trigger for you, I will see you next episode.

Claudia Henock 0:30
Sarafina Nlandu is a native of Atlanta, GA that grew up in a military family and moved and traveled often. During her travels, she loved to see the world around her and pursued one of her passions, photography. One thing to know about her is that she is also an animal lover, and had two cats all her life until one of them named Dolly passed last year. Her two cats were sometimes her photography muse since she would take photos of them and build a collection. In addition to her photography work, she is also a graduate student pursuing a master’s in marketing.

Claudia Henock 1:04
Hey, Sarafina, welcome to the podcast. How are you doing today?

Sarafina Nlandu 1:07
I’m doing well. Just being here and talking with you. It was just really a great moment, and I’m thankful for it. That’s what I will say.

Claudia Henock 1:17
Thank you. I appreciate it. So let’s start with the number one question I always start with, what is your most precious thing?

Sarafina Nlandu 1:25
My most precious thing, right now, is my picture of my cat, and this particular cat had passed away, I would say, last year around March. So it has been a year, and I remember taking many photos of her, to be honest with you.

Sarafina Nlandu 1:49
And I’ll have to tell you the little backstory behind how we got her. Once upon a time in Atlanta, we’re talking about 2002, I was six years old. So, me and my sister and my mom, we were all living in the house at the time, and her name is Dolly. So Dolly had to really come up to the window sill because we had like a small apartment at the time. So Dolly would come up in the window sill, and she would talk to my sister. And you know, back then, this is before cell phones even became popular, social media became popular, like, this is way before then. So there’s nothing else for you to do as a kid, but to look at the things outside. So Dolly was there, and she’s been there with us. And I remember she couldn’t come into the house. And then, there were many times where my mom was like, you know, “Ah, let’s not let her come to the house. I don’t want to take care of the cat.” But we used to feed her some milk, and a little bit of food, and she just kept coming back, kept coming back.

Sarafina Nlandu 3:05
And then it was raining at one point, and my sister did not want her to be outside. So then, my sister had to take her in, without asking mom. So as a six year old, I was like, “Well, I’m glad we just have a cat in the house.” And what my mom found out, she got really upset. And then she noticed how much we loved this cat, really, how much we loved Dolly. So over time, she started to stay in the house more and more, so she was an indoor outdoor cat at the time. By the time my dad came home, because back then he was working abroad. And you know, I came from a military family, so when he came back home, all of a sudden he see a cat. He was like, “What in the world? What in the world are you all doing with the cat in the house?”

Sarafina Nlandu 4:10
So then as time went on, my cat was there for my mom when she was going through breast cancer back in 2003. So that’s when my mom started to grow fond of my cat. And I wanted to say that my cat has been with us ever since then. And when she got lost, that’s when we got our second cat, Peanut, which is the boy cat we have now. He’s 18 now and he’s doing very well at his age. But my other cat, when she came back home, she did not like the fact that Peanut was there, so they used to fight all the time. They used to fight like so hard. And even when we moved to Germany back in 2000, 2008 we had to deal with them fighting, but then they had to grow together. They learned to grow together, they still fight like siblings, but they grew up with me and my sister almost like family members.

Sarafina Nlandu 5:11
But with this particular cat, Dolly, she’s always been that cat who’s been, how can I say, very sweet. She’s always been a family cat. And always been there for us whenever we were not feeling good, even during the times where I would have a hard time in school, because I used to deal with depression at that time, too. And my cat would be there, because she knows when I’m not feeling good. And then as I got older, went to college, I didn’t get to see her much unless it’s a vacation for us. And then I would spend some time with her, and also spend some time with Peanut as well. And I remember taking pictures of her, many times, and she would pose for me, you know? Yes.

Claudia Henock 6:03
Like, a little fashion model cat be like…

Sarafina Nlandu 6:05
Yeah!

Claudia Henock 6:05
I’m gonna be on the cover of Cat Vogue right here. Like, take a picture of me smile. I’m in the latest cat fashion.

Sarafina Nlandu 6:13
Yeah, ideally, as a cat, because she’s a tortie. So they’re like black, and then they have this gold stripes around them. So with torties, you can use them for fashion magazines and Instagram, like you can use them for that. Now, my cat, with Dolly, at first, you know, she wasn’t too fond of pictures. But I think over the years, she got a little more relaxed. Now, Peanut on the other hand, he should have been on Kitty Vogue. He’ll pose for you like, he could be a good model for any celebrity who has to have a cat in their pictures. Ideally, Peanut would be good for that. Because with him being a tabby, they use them for Instagram, different advertisements. Like you see tabby cats, tiger looking cats, everywhere you go. They always use them for pictures because they’re natural posers. So that’s the difference between him and Dolly. But specifically with Dolly, she became a little more relaxed.

Sarafina Nlandu 7:24
So then over time, she got sick by the time we moved to North Carolina. So this was back in, I think 2013, 2014 she started to get sick. And she started to have kidney problems and some asthma. So, I didn’t know what I was doing when I was taking pictures of her for my photography class in college, but they were all black and white. But she was just staring at you, almost like you’re looking at a 60s movie. Black and white of cats, black cats especially for Halloween. But that picture was so memorable to me because I didn’t know that up until last year, she had passed. But she has been a fighter for so long when, and she died at 19. She fought so hard, you know, because she doesn’t want to leave us as family. But then she had to give up her life, and we had her cremated, and she’s still in my sister’s room to this day. And I’m grateful now that I have these photos of her as well. And that was sort of photos that I can keep with me, even though it was for photography class then, I didn’t know that it’s all a memory just now. So that’s why it’s really precious for me.

Claudia Henock 8:52
Yeah, I can definitely relate to that story too. Because last March, god now I’m gonna cry a little bit.

Sarafina Nlandu 9:01
Okay, I was a mess when she first passed. I was a mess. It took me a year to actually get over my cat, Dolly. It took me a year. So I feel that pet loss is not easy to go through.

Claudia Henock 9:19
It still kind of hurts a little bit to this day because I can definitely relate to your story, because last March, we had to put Max down because he was just, he was just suffering and we couldn’t let him go through that anymore because he had to go through hip replacement stuff, he was just in, he was just in pain a lot, and I can remember holding on to Max as he passed on. I know in my case, it’s been, been a few months since that March, but, it’s, it still hurts a little bit. It still hurts to like see pictures of him, and it still hurts to get little emails from my Mom saying like “Oh, here’s picture of Max. Do you remember this cute picture of Max?” And my first reaction I want to do was cry.

Sarafina Nlandu 10:08
Yeah.

Claudia Henock 10:09
So I wouldn’t be surprised at this episode turns to a therapy session for the both of us a little bit, because sometimes when talking about death, especially if it’s the death of a loved one, even if it’s just a pet, these pets have been a huge part of our lives. Like you said, Dolly lived until, like 19. And I know and in my case, I got Max when I was like, 13 years old, and I’m now 27. And our pets were like a huge part of our lives. And when they pass on it, it still hurts a little bit.

Sarafina Nlandu 10:40
It does, it does, I didn’t mean to turn into a therapy session. But, you know, I’m glad that you shared with me about your dog, Max. I’ll be honest with you, it doesn’t matter what pet people have. It could be a dog, it could be a cat, it could be a rabbit, turtles, snake, I know some people who lost their goat, you know, they lost their goat, and any animal that you have. And this is something that my psychiatric nurse told me personally, through my therapy session with her, because we were talking about grief. And I told her when, when Dolly passed, it was really hard for me to get over her within a year. And she was telling me that the thing about it is with a pet loss, it is going to be different from a human being, or a family member. Because you have a different bond with them. This is a pet that you see every day, you’re excited, and you’re looking forward to really seeing every day, this is the pet that you always have a close bond with. So when they go on, of course, is going to break your heart. So, it helped me to really understand that these are the things that can happen. And you know, it can be a struggle for many of us as well. And it’s not easy to get over pet loss.

Sarafina Nlandu 12:16
And I’ll be honest with you, some people who never had pets before, they could not understand that, they couldn’t understand it, they can understand losing a mom, or losing a grandmother, losing an uncle, or any human family member. That’s understandable. But when you lose a pet, it hits you differently, because the bond that you have with your pet is different, it’s going to be very different from a human, like I have dealt with family loss, even recently. But the worst, I can say the worst family loss I had to deal with was when I lost Dolly, that was the worst. So it was really hard to deal with it.

Sarafina Nlandu 13:05
But to be honest with you, I have a different point of view about death than the average person, I just have a different perception about it, which is a whole nother conversation for another day. What’s so great is that the memories that you keep with the pet that you have, that’s what’s most important. Even when we look at pictures, yes, it makes us sad. But you have to be thankful that you have those pictures, you’re thankful for the experience that you get to have with them. And, it doesn’t mean that they’re gone forever, either. They’re still with you, because they’ve been a part of you all your life. So that’s what I had to learn over time. And I can’t tell you that there hasn’t been a day where I never thought about Dolly. It is impossible, because this is a cat I known ever since I was six years old.

Sarafina Nlandu 14:03
So, it’s really tough, but whoever is out there, who’s dealing with pet loss. Just always know that this pet will always be with you in your heart. And, even if you’re dealing with a pet who is very sick, just make sure you take as many pictures as you can. Because those pictures are worth the memories. They’re they’re worth every moment that you have, and it’s going to hurt but at the same time, you know, just always know that they’re going to always be a part of you, for the rest of your life. That’s what I say, and always hold on to the good memories that you have with them because that’s gonna always bring joy, like I never forget how Dolly, she will always fight you for shrimp, and she will always fight you for ice cream. She is really crazy about ice cream!

Claudia Henock 15:07
What was like her favorite flavor of ice cream? Or was she like, “I don’t care. I want all 31 flavors, Baskin Robbins,” was she like that type of cat? Or did she have like a favorite flavor?

Sarafina Nlandu 15:16
She does have a favorite flavor: vanilla, because vanilla looks the most like milk for her. So whenever we have a cup of ice cream, and we would just have these mini cups with those small spoons, and we would eat, and then as she sees you eating it, she’ll crawl around you. And like, look at you in the face saying, “Hey, when are you going to feed me with this ice cream?” So when it comes to ice cream, she’s so mean! You’ve never been this mean about other things. But you get so mean when it comes down to ice cream. It’s like you’re obligated to her saying like, “Hey, you better give me some ice cream, or I’m going to fight you.”

Sarafina Nlandu 16:01
And at one point she needs to fight me she would just jump on me just like, I remember how my cat want to fight with me. And also my sister too. I don’t think she’ll pull a fight with my dad, but she’ll just give that look to my dad saying like, “When are you going to feed me ice cream, Dad,” and she would look at my mom the same way too, and she would just be like “When you’re going to feed me ice cream?” So she gets really mean when it comes to ice cream.

Sarafina Nlandu 16:31
And even when it comes down to shrimp, my mom’s side of the family, they specialize in the seafood industry. So we were bringing like shrimp to the house. We used to live in Atlanta at the time, and I remember my cousin from Savannah, Jasmine. Like, she came to our house and she had shrimp. And I think it was called shrimp and grits, typical southern dish, shrimp and grits. And she was eating it, and my cat was just looking at her. You know, like, “can you give me some shrimp, please?” Because you know, cats always love seafood, especially shrimp, you got to be careful with Dolly when it comes down to seafood. So, she would just look and just be like, “ah, could I, could I just have some shrimp, especially for once please?” And my cousin will look at her like, “I’m not giving you any shrimp!”

Sarafina Nlandu 17:31
So just fun memories like that is very soothing at the same time. And that’s why, I say, you take pictures with them, also spent time with them, as much as you could, because you don’t know when it’s going to be memorable to you. So that’s what I would say, really. So I have many fond memories of Dolly, and I’m thankful for the experience, and will I get another tortie in the future, maybe? Maybe, maybe if it happens that I settle down, because the thing about it is with cats in general, they don’t like to move a lot. And you have to stay put with them, while with dogs, they just, they can move around, they could go travel anywhere. Like, they’re more excitable when it comes down to moving from one environment to another. With a cat, that’s not always the case.

Sarafina Nlandu 18:31
So yeah, hopefully I can get another tortie in the future. Because I always like to have cats around me, as well. Because, I know the difference in myself when I don’t have animals around me, versus having animals around me. And when my cats are around me, I feel really happy. I feel very loved in a sense. And that’s what Dolly represents to me is that she made me feel loved when I wasn’t feeling loved, especially during my childhood years, when I would go to school. And I would be kind of awkward, and kind of standoffish in a sense, and be treated differently from other people. My cat never viewed me that way. She always loved me in a way, and Peanut too, you know, made me feel loved. So, that’s the hardest part when we lose our pets is that you never forget the love that you have for them, and what they have given you. But then that doesn’t mean you will never get that love again. And that’s why I would advise anybody try to get another pet.

Claudia Henock 19:50
Gotcha.

Sarafina Nlandu 19:51
Yeah, in my case, I don’t have to get another pet anytime soon because I already have Peanut. So he helped all of us really get over Dolly’s passing. So that’s what I would say. But thank you so much for allowing me to come on here. I have another precious thing, but then I have to get permission.

Claudia Henock 20:12
That’s totally fair. And so I actually just have like one more question to ask you.

Sarafina Nlandu 20:14
Yeah.

Claudia Henock 20:14
So I know previously, you mentioned that you took a picture of Dolly as part of a photography project for college. Do you remember the decision making behind choosing Dolly is like your subject for the photography?

Sarafina Nlandu 20:29
Let’s be real. This was back during the time when I thought that meeting the teacher’s expectations is the end all and be all, especially in college, just keeping it real. So my professor shared about how one student, she took a collection of photos of how her mom was in the hospital, and seeing like, all the things that she had to go through when being sick. And at one point, she won an award for it, for that collection. So it inspired me to be like, “Okay, you know what, my cat is also sick, I would like to show different photos of my cat because not everybody has an idea of what cats go through when they’re sick.”

Sarafina Nlandu 21:28
So when I show different photos, it was an idea that I was playing around with. And I took some cat portraits of my cat as well to show you know, a different side of Dolly as well, instead of being just the sick cat. And overall, oh my gosh, it took me a lot of editing on Photoshop, and well, not only Photoshop, but also, this was when we were doing what we call film photography, so you have to put these pictures up under water in some chemicals. Not an easy process, but that…

Claudia Henock 22:07
Definitely doesn’t sound easy.

Sarafina Nlandu 22:10
No, it’s not. And it takes like what, three or four days, before your picture can come out dry. But then, it made me appreciate digital photography, and photography altogether, really. And even though it wasn’t graded high, because I had a picky professor, that’s fine. That’s fine. And that’s when I realized, even up until now, that art is very subjective, you know, the person have the freedom to like it or not, or they can be impressed with it, or not. But when you’re doing something that you love, and especially if it’s a specific project, you know, I would say that’s one of the projects that truly touched my heart. And I think it’s like one of the best in my eyes, because of the idea itself. And also, I love my cat just enough to really show it.

Claudia Henock 23:10
And that’s a really good thing too, especially since you now have those pictures to remember her by as well, so I’d say that was a really good thing that you chose Dolly as your subject for the photos.

Sarafina Nlandu 23:21
I didn’t know that it would be memorable by this time. But now I’m thankful that I did. So it’s quite an emotional moment whenever I see the pictures now. But I’m very thankful that I get to take those pictures, and really have true portraits of Dolly we can remember her by, and I still have a photo book of her photos to this day, as well. So that’s what I have to really say. So she is one of my most precious things, really, that I really have is the photos.

Claudia Henock 24:03
That’s a really amazing story. And I feel like when you explained everything, you kind of just answered all of the questions that I orginally had, that’s a good thing too, because it gives everyone a full story of, like, behind the pictures, and behind the type of cat that Dolly was. So, to close out the episode today, do you have any social media that people can follow you on for your photography, or just getting to know your story a bit more online as well if you’re interested?

Sarafina Nlandu 24:33
So my Instagram is @sarafinaangel95. So, you can go follow me on there. I don’t really post pictures often. But I’ll try to make sure that I post more of my photography work on there because I took so many pictures, even during my years in Korea as well and I’m just like, I need to really post more pictures, often really, just so for the hobby of it, really. Okay, so I’m similar to musicians, where you know how musicians or songwriters, they have certain songs that they probably had recorded, but they keep it in a vault, they keep it, you know, somewhere hidden that the world didn’t know, that’s the same way I treated a lot of my photos. I have taken them, maybe a long time ago, but then they’re just put away, hidden. So, I think by now, I would like to show them, you know, on Instagram, so people can find me on there @sarafinaangel95.

Claudia Henock 25:43
So Sarafina, I want to say thank you, again, for being my guest here on Your Most Precious Thing. It was really very therapeutic to hear the story about you and the love that you had for Dolly. And I hope a lot more people find solace and peace as well. So, and I just want to say thank you again, and have an awesome night.

Sarafina Nlandu 26:03
Thank you. Thank you, everyone. And I hope to really catch up again, and it’s a great honor to be on your podcast. And I thank you for the work that you have done, because I know this is your baby as well. So, I thank you so much for allowing me to come on here. I’m very thankful.

Claudia Henock 26:22
I appreciate it. And thank you so much Sarafina, and hopefully we can chat again soon.

Sarafina Nlandu 26:27
Yes, we will. All right.

Claudia Henock 26:30
Bye. Have a good night.

Sarafina Nlandu 26:32
Thank you, you too.

Claudia Henock 26:36
Thank you for listening to this episode of Your Most Precious Thing. You can follow me at @claudiahenock on Instagram and Twitter, as well as Claudia Henock on LinkedIn. You can also follow Your Most Precious Thing through my official website, www.claudiahenock.com, in addition to anywhere where you listen to your podcasts. Intro and Outro Music is Synapse by Shane Ivers, and you can find his music on www.silvermansound.com.