Danni Barnum – To Pass The Crystal Point to the Next Generation

Claudia Henock 0:04
Hi everyone, welcome to Your Most Precious Thing, the show that talks about the stories behind the items we hold near and dear to our hearts. I am your host, Claudia Henock, and let’s meet our guest for this week.

Claudia Henock 0:18
Just as a heads up before we continue, this episode does feature a brief mention of suicide rates in the Trans community, so if that is something you feel uncomfortable listening to, I will see you next episode.

Claudia Henock 0:30
Danni Barnum is a non-binary, autistic, and fiercely protective individual. They write poetry, play a few instruments, and keep their hands busy with crafts. His genuine honesty makes them an open book, maybe an audiobook on speaker, and they use their story to advocate for mental health and LGBTQ+ issues.

Claudia Henock 0:52
Hey, Danni, welcome to Your Most Precious Thing. How are you doing today?

Danni Barnum 0:55
I’m doing well. Thank you. How about you, Claudia?

Claudia Henock 0:58
Doing absolutely awesome! So to start this episode, what would you say is your most precious thing?

Danni Barnum 1:05
My most precious thing is an amethyst necklace I got in 2017.

Claudia Henock 1:12
Can you tell me more about it?

Danni Barnum 1:15
We had been staying with some friends of the family. They let us use their basement while they went off on vacation. This was in Toronto. I came up to the people, and the people who were running the attic, were kinda milling about the kitchen. I got talking with one of these gentlemen. I started going back and forth with him, I’ve been making jewelry for a bit, out of semi precious stones. And this guy looks at me, and he takes off his necklace, hands it to me and goes, “Here.” I was like, “Whoa, are you sure?” And he said, “Stones are made to be given.” That’s always really resonated with me.

Claudia Henock 1:54
That’s really cool. So how did that affect the rest of your time in Toronto during that time?

Danni Barnum 2:01
I don’t remember much about how it affected me on that vacation. I was 17, it was a few years ago. I do remember wearing it nearly every day for my junior year.

Danni Barnum 2:07
Did you consider it like a good luck charm during that school year?

Danni Barnum 2:17
Maybe a guardian charm? The thing that really made this important to me, in retrospect, was that it was this very openly gay man, and this very openly queer kid, and it was a generational passing down. You don’t get to see that a lot in the LGBT community, for members around my age, because the people who would have done that for us died in the AIDS crisis. The LGBT community is literally missing an entire generation of elders who could be guiding us through this. So being able to connect with that generation means a lot and meant a lot of the time.

Claudia Henock 2:55
That’s always really important to hear as well, because it’s always good to hear stories from essentially the people who’ve came before us. And you never know what type of stories that they have to tell us. And the lessons that they have learned. It’s always important to hear stories like that.

Danni Barnum 3:11
Yeah, the community really missed out on that facet, and I feel like I think it’s made it easier for there to be legislative moves against the LGBT community. The good news is, is that all the people around my age grew up without anyone there. We are not going to go quietly, because we need to see those kids of tomorrow, and we need to be the adults that we didn’t have.

Claudia Henock 3:35
So with that in mind, do you consider yourself an elder at this point? I know you’re a few years younger than me, but do you consider yourself an influence to like the younger generation as well?

Danni Barnum 3:47
You know, I’m 22. So sometimes I look at these kids coming out as non binary and trans. I’ve been out for eight years, I came out my first week of high school. And I look at these kids, and it does make me feel like an elder. Just in the fact that these kids coming out, they’re getting to do so younger and younger. And they’re receiving so much more support and education.

Danni Barnum 4:10
It’s still really awful out there for trans kids. In the 2022 article of the Child and Adolescent Social Work journal, Michael Gore says that 30 to 51% of transgender kids have had suicidal behavior at some point in their lives. I think that’s a tragedy. Not a lot of people my age were coming out around 2014. It was right before things kind of started going wonky. It was right before the G.G. v. Gloucester case went to the Supreme Court, which if you’re unfamiliar, was a case in Gloucester. A boy, Gavin Grimm, who is now a man and I’m actually friends with, he went to speak to his school board about using the boys bathroom and it was just an awful, degrading experience. He wound up taking it to court on the grounds of Title X interpretation, which was then supported by the Obama administration. He didn’t wind up getting into the Supreme Court due to the Trump administration modifying that.

Danni Barnum 5:07
But yeah, these kids are facing a scary world, but they’re not doing it alone. That makes me feel a bit like an elder, I also feel a little bit like an elder, because suicide is so rampant in the Trans community. It’s increasingly common to see people my age who are visibly queer and trans, who have made it through the worst of that. And that, that gives me hope.

Danni Barnum 5:29
I think when I got that necklace, it really drove that home for me that not only can I be, but I almost have a responsibility to myself to be this adult that Trans kids need. I mean, I didn’t know any Trans adults beyond one of our family friends, when I was coming out. Having that adult support could have made things very different for me.

Claudia Henock 5:52
Definitely, it’s always good to have that support in your corner as well. In the future, do you ever see yourself passing that necklace on to another person, like another Trans person?

Danni Barnum 6:03
Well, right now, my girlfriend wears it, because I have had a lot of stones go in and out of my collection. I think giving people stones is a great way to reassure them, and kind of pass on some goodwill and some good energy, if you will. So most of my rocks that I’ve had over time have just gotten given away. But this one has stayed in my collection since I started collecting, and my girlfriend did some pretty badass stuff, some pretty badass mental health stuff. I am and I was super proud of her. So I gave her the necklace. And I told her the story. And I said, you know, that’s what we get to be to these kids. It’s also since it was my first stone collection, it has a lot of sentimental value for me. I really wanted to show her that I trusted her with this part of me.

Claudia Henock 6:54
Do you know what type of stone it was? Because I know sometimes with crystals and gemstones like that they have like certain meanings to them?

Danni Barnum 7:02
Yeah, it was an Amethyst point. Amethyst is generally used as a healing stone from what I know. But honestly, I love rocks, I love stones. But I don’t pay a lot of attention to the meanings, or what they are. I like them because they go clack, and you can put them in necklaces.

Claudia Henock 7:20
That’s totally fine, too. But in the case of Amethyst, I think the healing meaning behind it definitely came into play here too, because it was just kind of a way to heal yourself a little bit, just passing the torch from one generation to another.

Danni Barnum 7:36
This stone being so significant to me. I’ve definitely looked at more of the meanings. I think it’s an amazing example of how I approach healing the community.

Claudia Henock 7:48
So do you ever see yourself expanding on the crystal collection that you have at all?

Danni Barnum 7:54
It’s something that has fluctuated so much, as I’ve had space, and as I’ve had mental energy for it. I don’t like letting stones sit in drawers, if I can avoid it. But yeah, I’m at a waning point, I guess in the cycle. I’m hoping to get some more soon. I’m particularly fond of agates as opposed to like, quartz type crystals. Agates you can really see where the earth bends and shaped the rock. And I think that is so cool!

Claudia Henock 8:21
So if there is someone who’s part of the LGBT community that’s listening to this episode right now that feels like they don’t have an elder to speak to, or they don’t have a support system to speak to: What advice would you give that person?

Danni Barnum 8:40
Most of my resources are local, but that is the first thing I would say. Go out to LGBT center, if you have one, get on Facebook, look for groups that meet and just go there start talking to people. Finding in elder to mentor you is very hard, I’m not gonna lie. But the community as a whole is not going to leave you hanging.

Danni Barnum 9:02
Yeah, I think it is just a matter of getting out there and talking to people. TrevorSpace is another good online resource. And the Trevor hotline if you’re experiencing any suicidal thoughts or behaviors. Taimi, actually, T A I M I, is a, technically is a dating app for LGBT people. But most people are on there just to make friends and chat. You find some discord servers. But finding your elder, the best way to do that is just get out there start talking to people, old people don’t use phones. They’re like 40 to 50 years old, maybe 55 But they’re old. They’re old.

Claudia Henock 9:41
Hey, and who knows, we might be considered an elder to people who are younger than us because age just kind of weird sometimes.

Danni Barnum 9:48
Yeah, I got a job as a substitute teacher for a fifth grade class, and I went in to see the class, I was like, “Oh man, yall’s so small.” Like twice their age looking at them. I look at the books that one kid is reading. I’m like, “Hey, I love dog man!”

Claudia Henock 10:06
Oh god!

Danni Barnum 10:08
The more recent books released, yeah, a little bit of a nerd, but you know, make it work.

Claudia Henock 10:12
So Danni, do you have any social media, or social media platform that people can follow you at if you’re open to it?

Danni Barnum 10:20
Yeah, absolutely. My Instagram is D a n n i, t h e, t r a n n y, @dannithetranny, which is an amazing username and I’m never giving it up. You can also reach me on my Facebook, which is just Daniel James Barnum. I don’t use a lot of social media anymore, but if you need me if you need someone to talk to, can’t find me there, call Claudia. She’ll make sure we get connected. I’m always down to, you know, be there as a supportive person.

Claudia Henock 10:59
And I’ll be sure to put the social media in the show notes as well, and If there’s someone out there that does want to connect to Danni, I’ll be sure to forward information as well.

Danni Barnum 11:09
Hey, I’m a cool person, maybe?

Claudia Henock 11:12
Then I want to say thank you again for being my third guest on Your Most Precious Thing. It was an honor to interview you about the necklace. And sometimes something as simple as a necklace can lead to a really huge story.

Danni Barnum 11:27
Yeah, absolutely. Thank you for letting me talk about some of the finer points of that.

Claudia Henock 11:32
Literally and figuratively because I think your Amethyst point does have a point on the top.

Danni Barnum 11:36
It does actually. It flares out a little bit, but it does have a tip.

Claudia Henock 11:42
Anyway, I want to say thank you for being a guest on my show, and have an awesome night.

Danni Barnum 11:46
All right, I’ll see you later, Claudia.

Claudia Henock 11:48
Already, bye Danny!

Claudia Henock 11:55
Thank you for listening to this episode of Your Most Precious Thing. You can follow me at @claudiahenock on Instagram and Twitter, as well as Claudia Henock on LinkedIn. You can also follow Your Most Precious Thing through my official website, www.claudiahenock.com, in addition to anywhere where you listen to your podcasts. Intro and Outro Music is Synapse by Shane Ivers, and you can find his music on www.silvermansound.com.